iCarly Benson
by NihilisticAmbition313
Summary: AU of what would happen if Carly and Freddie were twin sister-and-brother, and all the situations that ensue.
1. Prologue

**iCarly Benson**

**by NihilisticAmbition313**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly**

**...**

**#1-"iCarly...Benson"  
**

**Carly's view**

"Freddie, wake up. We're gonna be late for school."

My twin brother Freddie has managed to sleep in every day ever since we were little kids. I've always been the one to have to get him up for school. As smart as he is, he's as lazy as the day is long.

"Go away." Freddie mumbled from under his Galaxy Wars cover

I ripped off his cover and threw it to the floor.

"Get up or I'll tell Mom you didn't take your tick bath last night!"

Yes, our mother makes us take tick baths. Imagine my embarrassment. I, Carly Benson, being treated like a dog.

"Alright, alright." Freddie yawned

The last thing my brother wanted was an impromptu tick bath, which would have happened if I did tell Mom. Freddie sat up and stretched out the sleepies.

"Mom's making breakfast."

"Great. Is it 'tofu surprise' or 're-fried bean sprout'?"

"Tofu."

"Blech. Dinky Donuts on the way to school?"

"Definite."

I left my brother's room and headed toward the kitchen. Mom was finishing our 'delicious' breakfast as I took a seat at the bar counter.

"Almost done, honey." she announced

"Great."

More like yuck.

"Is that lazy brother of your's up now?"

"Yup."

"Carly, I want you and Freddie to come with me to Aunt Ida's anniversary party Saturday. You know she hasn't seen you since you were kids."

"But I had plans with Sam on Saturday." I whined

Sam Puckett is my best friend and Freddie's girlfriend. She's a cool girl, although a bit hotheaded when she wants to be. She's also universally regarded as the toughest girl in school, and she's somewhat my personal bodyguard/attack dog (after Freddie, of couse).

"You see that juvvie candidate everyday. Your Aunt Ida wants to see you and Fredward."

"But Mom, we-"

"You're going to the party young lady, and that's that."

"Argh..." I growled

Here I am, sixteen years old, and _still_ being bossed around by Mom. Yet Freddie gets away with murder. He has a girlfriend, but she won't even let me have a boyfriend! She says boys are only out for one thing, so I can't have a boyfriend until I'm 'mature' enough to handle them. What a load. She just doesn't want me to end up like _her_, pregnant at sixteen...No, that's a mean thing to say about Mom. I'm sorry. Take backs.

At least she let's me have the one thing I care most about, my webshow. It's called (get this) 'iCarly'. It's just a stupid webshow with me and Sam doing stupid, random, crazy things for the entertainment of our ever-growing fan base, but it's my weekly escape from Mom's tyranny and the pressures of school and all that chizz. Oh, Freddie is the tech producer/director, because he's good with techy stuff. We even let him on the show sometimes (mostly to humiliate him).

A few moments later Freddie came into the kitchen as Mom dished up 'breakfast'.

"Tofu surprise. Yum." Freddie mumbled

"As I was telling Carly, we're going to your Aunt Ida's anniversary party Saturday."

"Oh...Can I bring Sam?"

"No. Family only. Now hurry up and eat and run along to school. I have to get to work now."

Mom, already in her scrubs (she's a nurse), ran and grabbed her purse and keys, then doubled back to me and Freddie.

"Have a great day." she said as she kissed both of us on the forehead

"Bye mom." I said

As much as she gets on my nerves, I love Mom. She's neurotic, overprotective, overbearing, and annoying, but I know in the end she means well for me and Freddie. I just wish she would let up on me and give me a little more freedom.

Mom made her exit, and on cue, Freddie and I both went to the garbage disposal and fed it tofu surprise.

"Surprise!" I cheered as the garbage disposal devoured our breakfast.

"You think Mom knows we do this?" Freddie asked

"I dunno."

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"I got it." I said

I went to answer the door. When I did, I found none other than Spencer Shay on the other side.

Spencer is a goofy, weird man-child who lives across the hall from us. He's also an extremely talented artist who gets paid bookoo bucks for his work.

Plus he's a super, total heartthrob...

"Spencer. Hi."

"Hey kiddo. You wouldn't happen to have a cup of sugar, would you?" the big guy asked

"Would you settle for sweetener?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Making coffee?" I asked as I headed back to the kitchen

"Tea."

"Since when did you drink tea?" Freddie asked

"Since this girl I met told me she does."

"Figures." I peeped

That's another thing about Spencer; He's a player. New week, new woman.

"Spencer, are you ever gonna get married?" I asked as I got the sweetener from the pantry

"_Never_!" he emphatically replied

"Someday, some woman is gonna get you for being such a dog." I playfully warned as I handed Spence a few packets of sweetener

"And until that day comes, woof baby!"

Spencer took his sweetener and left, closing the door behind him.

"I wish I knew how _that_ guy can rack up so much tail." I said

"Not you but _me_. Mom's probably about the only woman in Seattle he hasn't banged yet."

"Ew! _Imagery_!"

Freddie fell out laughing, and I followed suit despite myself.


	2. Sugar lips

**iCarly Benson**

**by NihilisticAmbition313**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly**

**A/N: Seddie-love alert**

**...**

**#2-"Sugar lips"**

**Freddie's view**

Carly and I entered Ridgeway High scarfing down our glazed donuts from Dinky Donuts (The substitute to Mom's attempt at breakfast). We proceeded to our lockers, which were side by side (Just another example of how I can't get away from my twin).

"What up my peoples?" I heard someone say from behind me as I was opening my locker

I turned and saw my girlfriend Sam, who I have affectionately dubbed 'Princess', standing there.

"Hey beautiful." I greeted my girl

"Hey Sam."

Sam took notice of the Dinky Donuts bag in my hand.

"Where's _mine_?" she asked

"Where's your _what_?" I teased

"My donuts, dummy. Where's Momma's?"

"You gotta ask nicer than _that_." I said with a smirk

"Gimme!" Sam growled as she snatched the Dinky Donuts bag out of my hand

My Princess rummaged through the bag, and a smile came to her face.

"Boston Creme. Good man." Sam said as she happily took her donut out and began attacking it mercilessly.

"You're welcome by the way."

"Mffmma's eatiff. Shuff it." Sam growled with a mouth full of custard filled pastry

That donut was gone in approximately twenty seconds. Good for me I got her two. She took the second donut out of the bag and had at it just as viciously as the first.

"Gluttony is so underrated." Carly said

"Yeah it is. Isn't she adorable when she's stuffing her face?"

"No."

Sam stuck out a tongue full of chewed up donut at Carly.

"Please. I've seen our mother naked. It takes more than that to gross me out."

"Heh, heh, heh." I chuckled

Sam finished her second donut and went to wipe some custard off her chin. I quickly grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Please, let _me _get that."

I leaned in and licked the stray filling from Sam's chin. She in turn kissed me, and I kissed her back.

"Ugh. Must you two suck face every time you get within one foot of each other?" Carly groaned

We began kissing even harder just to spite my twin.

"No kissing in the hallway!" a bullhorn-amplified voice shouted right in my ears, shocking me away from Sam's lips

Of course it was Mrs. Briggs hating on me. No surprise. She goes around with that bullhorn yelling at all the kids of Ridgeway every single day for every infraction real or imagined, and she isn't even the freakin' principal. She's just a mean old woman who hates kids and seriously needs a man in her life.

"Witch." Sam said under her breath as we separated

"What did you say, Miss Puckett!"

"I said _sandwich_. I want a ham sandwich and I wish I had one."

Carly and I both snickered.

"Hmph. You can have whatever you want at lunch. Now get to class, all of you." Briggs barked and stormed away

We waited until Briggs was a safe distance from us...

"Witch." Sam repeated

"Somebody needs to get her a man." I said

"Like your mom." Sam taunted

"Our mom is incompatible with men." Carly said bluntly

"It's been scientifically proven." I followed

"Oh, has it?"

"Yup."

We weren't just trying to be funny either. Over the course of our lives, Carly and I have seen a number of guys come, and go just as fast as they came. Mom has a tendency to drive men away with her eccentric ways. Not that we like seeing Mom fail at love over and over. We _want_ her to find a good man to take care of her once we're out on our own, and that day is coming on pretty quick. We don't want her to be all alone and turn into a cat lady who goes to bingo every night...or hangs around _us_ all the time...

"What is it with the old women of Seattle? Your mom, my momma, Briggs. Is it like something happens to Seattle women and they go nuts when they reach a certain age?" Sam pondered

"Wouldn't be surprised." Carly said in her trademark deadpan tone

"Me neither...But, we need to get to class ladies."

"Yeah. Give Momma her sugar." Sam commanded and puckered her lips

I leaned in and gave Sam one last kiss before we would have to go to opposite ends of the building for our respective first period classes.

"Oh, don't forget iCarly rehearsals tonight." I reminded my baby

"Never do."

"Though you never show up on time."

"You and details...I love you."

"Love you too Princess." I said as I helped myself to one last kiss

"Later." Sam giggled as she went on her way

God how I love those plump, juicy lips.

I love everything about Sam. Her lips, her beautiful smile, her sparkling eyes, her curly blonde hair, her plump round butt (Heh, heh). I love her sense of humor, her strength, her loyalty, her bravery. I just love Samantha Puckett. She's my angel, and the girl of my dreams. I'm happy that she's all mine, and that I'm all her's, and I want it that way for the rest of my life.

**Sam's view**

God how I love him.

I was walking on air with the taste of my Prince's lips on my lips, savoring the taste of glazed donuts.

I love Freddie (Did I mention that?). I fell in love with him the day I laid eyes on him six years ago. I made friends with his twin sister Carly after I originally tried to bully her. I tried to take her lunch, but she wasn't having that. She shoved me down and took it right back. I was shocked, but in awe at the same time. She, this itty-bitty girly-girl, stood up to _me_, the mighty Sam Puckett, and I admired her for it. We fast became best friends, and I eventually met her brother. I was in love the moment we met, and it wasn't hard for me to get him to like me. All I had to do was threaten to beat him up if he wouldn't be my boyfriend (Seriously. Hey, I was younger alright?).

But I do love him. He's on my mind twenty-four-seven, even now as I trudge my way to American History class. I couldn't wait to see him again at lunch...

**A/N: Total Seddie indulgence for you guys. Take **_**that**_** Creddie. Next chapter will be longer.**


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